Be Okay
by hma1010
Summary: Five times Blaine was led to believe that who he was, was wrong; and the one time he knew that who he was, was right.


**Another one of these popped in my head and I could no longer ignore it! Hope you enjoy and will tell me what you thought!**

**-I don't own anything from Glee!**

* * *

**One**

Five-year-old Blaine loved school! He couldn't understand why Coop was always complaining about having to go, when each morning he couldn't wait to get there. Mommy said that high school was much different than Miss Kaley's kindergarten class, but it didn't matter to Blaine, there was no better place than being in school.

He loved reading circle, where each morning Ms. Kaley would read a new book to all the boys and girls in the class, and they would get to shout out answers when Ms. Kaley would ask them questions about what the girl was wearing, or what kind of animal was on the page. Blaine loved music time too, he liked to play the tambourine, and bang on the drums. Mommy had told him that he would be taking piano lessons when he got a little bit older, and so he paid attention during music time because Cooper always told him that all music was important and related. Snack time was fun, and Mommy always gave him his favorite things to eat, and he would swap his snack sometimes. And then there was his _favorite_ part about school…all of the friends he made, in particular there was Andy.

Blaine liked the way Andy talked, because his family was from Georgia and so he had what Ms. Kaley said was an accent, meaning that he said things in a funny way. Andy was taller than Blaine and he had light brown hair and pretty green eyes, and Blaine liked the way that Andy was funny, and when he got excited he would jump a little. Andy was his best friend and Blaine always wanted to be around him.

One day, when Ms. Kaley had given the class crayons and paper and told them they could draw anything they wanted, Blaine got to work. As he completed his picture, Ms. Kaley came around.

"Wow Blaine, that's a very nice picture, can you tell me what it is?" Blaine looked up at Ms. Kaley and smiled back at her before looking down and pointing at his picture.

"It's a wedding."

"That's lovely, have you been to a wedding before?"

"Yes! Jason's!" He looked up happily.

"And who is Jason?" She asked, squatting down next to him, still smiling.

"My big cousin."

"And is this a picture of Jason's wedding?"

"Noooo," He drew out the 'o, "It's mine," He pointed to one of the stick figures, "That's me!"

"Well, and who are you marrying then, if this is your wedding?"

"Andy!"

He looked at her but she was looking at him funny now, "Oh, honey, no. Boys don't marry other boys."

"But Andy is my best friend." He said quietly.

"It's not right, Blaine," Her voice was stern, "Boys marry girls, that's how it is," She pulled a piece of paper from the middle of the table and put it over his picture, "You need to draw something else."

"But, I don't want to draw something else! I want—"

"What did I say?" Now Ms. Kaley's voice was really angry.

"But…"

"That's it, time out Blaine," She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the time out chair in the corner. By the time she let go of him, his arm was hurting and his chin had begun to wobble, "I'm going to have to call your parents about this."

Later that evening, Mommy and Daddy sat Blaine down and told him that he needed to be a good boy in school and that he had to listen to what Ms. Kaley says.

The next day, Blaine played with Laura during free time instead of Andy. Blaine found he didn't like school so much after that.

**Two**

When Blaine is eight, his dad puts him on a little league baseball team with a bunch of the neighborhood boys. It's not that he doesn't like to play baseball, but he's just not very good at it. The coach usually puts him in right field because balls almost never get hit out there, but that also means that he's almost always bored. He tries his hardest, that's always what his dad tells him to do, but it seems like his hardest just isn't good enough. He can't throw the ball as fast or as hard as the other boys, when he's up at bat, he usually strikes out now that they're not in tee-ball anymore, and he can't really catch, whether it's a pop-up or a grounder.

Blaine tried to tell his dad that he'd rather play another sport, that maybe it was just that baseball wasn't where his skill were, but his dad told him that he wasn't going to have a quitter for a son. That after the season ended, Blaine could look into soccer or lacrosse or something else, but that he would just have to keep trying harder.

At practice one day, Blaine actually finds himself placed at third base, because Zachary Jackson had to miss practice because he was sick. The coach was hitting balls to each of the boys, surprising them with either a pop-up or a ground ball, and when they got the ball, they were instructed to throw it to Peter on first base.

"Ready Blaine?" His coach, Mr. Michaels called out to him.

Blaine's heart began to beat with nerves, but he nodded his head. The _crack_ of the metal bat hitting the ball sounded and Blaine watched as the ball flew through the air in an arc, and headed almost directly down towards him. Blaine put his glove up, feeling his confidence begin to rise with what should have been an easy catch, however the ball hit his glove a little too far on the right, and instead it pulls his hand in a way that makes his wrist twist, and then falls to the ground.

"That's ok, Blaine, just keep with it and throw it to Peter." Blaine's wrist aches, but he picks the ball up and lobs it in the direction of first base. The ball lands a few feet short and rolls it's way to the boy. Blaine feels his face flush with embarrassment.

"Blaine throws like a girl!" One of the boys yells.

"It's probably because he's gay!"

"Yea, Blaine is gay! He can't throw!"

He hears his teammates making fun of him, and even though Coach settles them down, he doesn't tell them to stop calling him names, and the only thing Blaine can focus on is that one word: gay. He's never heard it before, and doesn't know what it means, but he knows that it's bad if they're making fun of him for it. He keeps quiet for the rest of practice, but a few more times, when Coach Michaels isn't near, one of the boys will jeer _Blaine throws like a girl_ and _Blaine is so gay_.

He doesn't tell his parents about what happened, besides that he hurt his wrist, but with some ice, it feels better by dinner. Blaine waits until they are sleeping, and then he sneaks downstairs to where the family computer is. After typing 'gay' into the search engine, Blaine's eyes widen at all of the results, the pictures of rainbows, and men kissing or women kissing, and he didn't want to see _anyone_ kissing, it's bad enough when mom and dad do it or Cooper and one of his girlfriends, so he clicks on a link of a definition:

Gay- of, pertaining to, or exhibiting sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex; homosexual

He looks at it confused, wondering what wanting to have s-e-x, his mind whispers the word, with someone of the same gender has to do with being a bad baseball player.

It doesn't make much sense to Blaine, but being gay must be bad if people can tease you about it based on not being good at sports. He doesn't want to be gay, so he'll just have to try harder.

**Three**

By the time Blaine is eleven, he's knows he's gay, real actual gay and not the kind of gay that the boys call each other when they actually mean stupid. He knows, because he really, really has a crush on a boy named Simon who is pretty much the most perfect boy that Blaine has ever seen. Simon is about the same height as Blaine, but he's super confident, and funny, and everyone seems to like him. Blaine likes his sandy brown hair, and his light blue eyes, he likes that when he smiles, those same blue eyes seem to squint a little, and that when he is talking, he emphasizes what he says with hand gestures.

Blaine is pretty sure that he is in love with Simon, and after watching him give a presentation in science on the periodic table, something Blaine had never even thought about, he was positive. Simon could take a completely stupid topic and make Blaine want to pay rapt attention. And if his attention was less on what Simon was actually talking about, and more on the way Simon's lips moved when they formed the words, well that was another point entirely.

Any time his eyes would meet Blaine's during the presentation, butterflies would swarm his stomach, and his hands would get sweaty. He would blush a little and have to look away, always feeling disappointed when Simon's eyes weren't on his when he looked up again.

It didn't matter that the other boys always talked about Allison McCarthy the way that Blaine thought about Simon, Allison was pretty, but she was nothing compared to him.

That is why, while watching the news one night with his father and mother, Blaine decided that he would finally tell him that he was gay and that he was in love with a boy. He had read countless stories in the past year about coming out and about parents who were supportive and parents who were downright abusive, so to say that Blaine was nervous was an understatement. He was pretty sure that his parents would fall somewhere in the middle, but there was always a chance that he was completely wrong.

Blaine was going over the speech he had made in his head, so he didn't notice the news change topics to a new law trying to pass in the Ohio congress. He opened his mouth to begin, but was cut off by his dad.

"I cannot believe this; Claire, have you seen this crap?" He was pointing to the TV but looking at his wife.

Blaine focused his attention on the news and almost laughed when he noticed the Pride flag, feeling like maybe it was a sign.

"What is it?" She looked up from the magazine she was reading.

"Congress is trying to pass a law granting gays the right to have civil marriages, next they'll be saying they can get married for real! This is ridiculous!"

She smiled a little, "Oh relax, it's not like it's something you have to deal with."

Blaine's heart dropped and he lowered his eyes so that he was looking at his hands in his lap.

"I don't care, it's disgusting, and next they'll be saying that men are allowed to married dogs for crying out loud!"

"Change the channel if it's going to get you so upset." His mother may have not been agreeing with his father, but she also wasn't disagreeing, and for some reason that almost hurt worse. Blaine had always known that his father was not going to like that he was gay, but he had hoped that his mother would be supportive…now he wasn't so sure.

His father grunted as he changed the channel, but Blaine was brought back into the moment when his mother called him.

"Blaine, everything alright?" She asked and smiled when he looked up at her.

He stared for a moment, contemplating just blurting it out, getting it over with, _It's like ripping a band aid off_, one boy in a support group had said. Maybe he could just tell them and if he got disowned he would just start living his life in New York, or San Francisco, or some other big city.

"What's wrong, honey?" He shook his head, realizing that he hadn't answered her and now his father was looking at him expectantly as well.

He opened his mouth to tell them, "I uh…I…no-nothing," his father's eyebrow lifted, "I just felt dizzy for a moment, it's nothing, it passed."

His father patted his back and looked back to the TV and his mother smiled at him before looked down at her magazine. Blaine let out the breath he didn't even realize he was holding.

He would never survive on his own…he could never tell them.

**Four**

Of course, Blaine did eventually tell his parents and Cooper when he was thirteen, and thankfully he wasn't disowned. Cooper was never a problem; he was an actor in LA, and being gay there was just another part of who a person was. His brother had given him a hug, thanked him for telling him, and told him that he could always come to him for anything.

His mother took a few days to come around; initially, she told him she loved him no matter what, but that she just needed to process it. When she did, she came to him, held his face between both of her hands and just kissed his forehead, saying that she just wanted him to be happy and find love.

His father…his father took a few weeks. When Blaine first came out, he stared at Blaine for a few minutes, and then just stood up and left the dinner table where they had been sitting. Blaine tried, a few times in the days after, to engage his father in a conversation, sometimes about him being gay, other times just about random topics, but he would just act as though he didn't exist. Slowly, he began to speak with Blaine, but the silence was never mentioned, and the fact that Blaine was gay was a taboo subject in the house if Max Anderson was there. He wasn't disowned, but he wasn't allowed to be who he was, either, and it didn't feel much better.

None of this, however, compared to the pain Blaine felt through his body as kicks and punches landed on his body, now curled up on the ground. Even worse, though, were the words being screamed at him and his date Richie.

_Fairies_

_Disgusting_

_Worthless_

_Fags_

Of course, these words were repeated and mixed in with longer sentences about how Blaine and Richie had ruined the dance and made everyone want to vomit watching them. Blaine almost wanted to mention that he and Richie weren't even dating, were barely friends, but that since almost no one in the school would talk to them, they didn't have much of a choice. Also, they hadn't even danced together, sure they had drank some punch, stood near each other and laughed at how terrible some of the music of their generation was, but the kept a respectable distance, if only to avoid something like this happening…so much for that.

When Richie's dad arrived to pick them up, subsequently scaring off the guys who attacked them, he helped both bruised and beaten boys into the car, and as he drove away, began yelling.

"This is exactly why I didn't want you going to this dance with him, Richard!" Blaine watched from the back seat as Richie just lowered his head, "Do you see what hanging out with boys like him gets you? Did you think I was lying? What he is, is a abomination, and if you are going to choose his lifestyle, then you better be ready to deal with this all the time." He continued to yell, "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Richie didn't answer for a moment, but then Blaine heard him in a voice not much louder than a whisper, "I'm sorry sir…you were right."

"Your damn right I was! It's too late for him," Blaine was almost bewildered that this man continued to talk about him as though he weren't even there, he wanted to speak up, but what would he say? That Richie's dad was wrong, that being gay didn't get them beat up? It was exactly what brought this on, "You are a good boy, Richard, and we can still help you, your mother and I are still willing to help if you are willing to work to be right."

"I am…I will." Richie spoke softly again.

After that, there was fifteen minutes of silence until they reached the Anderson driveway. The car stopped at the end of the driveway and Blaine realized that it was as close as he would get. When neither Richie nor his father spoke, Blaine opened the door.

"I uh…thanks for the ride."

He waited a moment, but when neither man spoke, he just shut the door and limped his way to his house.

When he opened the door, him mother called out from the living room, "How was the dance, honey?"

He paused and looked down at himself, his hands were cut up, there was a hole in the knee of his pants, and under his suite, he knew he would find multiple bruises. Looking up, he caught his reflection in a small mirror by the door. His lip was cut and bleeding and he would probably have a black eye in the morning, but maybe Richie's dad was right, maybe he brought this on himself.

"It was fine…what I should've expected, I guess."

**Five**

At eighteen, dating Kurt was everything Blaine could've ever wanted, but was never sure that he would get. Growing up, he had crushes and fleeting attractions, but everything about what he felt for Kurt was love. He loved how he looked, of course, but more than that he loved how he felt when he was with him. Kurt was a kind, compassionate man, but at the same time, he was fiercely loyal and extremely quick witted. Blaine loved that he could talk about Vogue and fashion for two hours straight, and then roll up his sleeves and change the engine in a car if need be. Dating Kurt for two years had had it's ups and downs, as any relationship does, but he had never been happier in his life. With graduation and his move to the city to join Kurt and Rachel approaching, it was decided that the Hummels and Andersons would get together for a Friday night dinner, something they had begun to do somewhat regularly prior to Kurt leaving the year before. Both sets of parents got along surprisingly well, and Kurt and Blaine were thrilled to be able to spend even more time together.

The dinner had gone great, as it usually did, and once everyone was full on dessert, Kurt and Blaine offered to do the dishes while the parents relaxed. Neither set of parents could argue that they didn't have great kids.

While Carole and Claire stayed in the living room to chat as they finished their tea, Max and Burt went into the den to watch TV. When the boys were finished, Kurt sent Blaine to hang out with the dads, and said that he'd join in a few minutes, after he told Carole and Claire about a sale happening at the mall during the upcoming weekend. Blaine agreed and happily kissed Kurt as he left him to find his dad and Burt. Before he rounded the corner to enter the den, however, their voices stopped him. He stood behind them, where they wouldn't see him.

"You need to tell me how you do it." His father's voice sounded over the lowered TV volume.

"Look Max, I like to think I'm a pretty smart guy, but you're going to have to be more clear…do what?"

"Just…All of it…Kurt, Blaine…them."

"Okay…but what about them?"

"Let's be honest here, Burt. You're a blue-collar guy, a good ole boy from the Midwest…we grew up pretty much at the same time…I know the kinds of things kids said…what they _did_ to boys like Kurt and Blaine when we were growing up. Yet, here you are, world's greatest father, and I just need to know how you do it because sometimes I just sit there and I look at Blaine and all I want to do is figure out how I can change him. Make him straight."

Blaine's breath stuttered, though he always suspected that his father felt that way, he'd never heard him actually say it out loud. Now, he found himself nervous to hear what Burt would say.

"Listen…I know it's not easy, hell when Kurt came out to me, I already knew and it still wasn't easy, but what are you going to do? They are who they are, and come on, we've come a long way from those times when were growing up."

He let out a breath knowing that at least Burt seemed to be honestly supportive.

"But come on, isn't there a part of you that feels just a little bit let down? You hold your son in your arms when he's born and you picture him…I don't know, as a football star, dating the head cheerleader, and giving him _the talk_, buying him a box of condoms and telling him not to get anyone pregnant. I had all these plans when I looked at him, and then he came out and it just feels…like I lost something."

"Well I don't know about all of that. I think every parent has plans for their kid, and then you realize that your kid has free will and that they won't like sports or they'll want to go into music or fashion instead of taking over your mechanics shop. That stuff, sure, but I'm not sure being gay changed much for what I pictured for Kurt, besides the person I'd have to catch him making out with on the couch every time I'd want to watch TV." Blaine flushed, "Plus, all that stuff you said, I mean Kurt was on the football team for a second and he dated a cheerleader, and if I'm being honest, I'm much happier that he's with your son than that ditsy girl. Not to mention I did give Kurt _the talk_ and bought him a box of condoms…I guess I could've told him not to get Blaine pregnant, but I figured they were pretty good on that and I didn't feel like I lost out on not saying it anyway."

"You talked to Kurt about sex…about _gay_ sex?" he pretty much whispered the word and it made Blaine roll his eyes.

Burt laughed a little, "It's not a bad word, Max, and yes, of course I did. I wanted him to be safe and to know that he could talk to me…" he paused, "I wanted him to know that he was important and that he had every right to think of himself as such, especially when it came to sex and sharing himself with someone like that. You've never spoken to Blaine about sex?"

"No…god, I don't even speak with him about relationships in general…I figured he'd look it up or something. I just…I can't, I try and I think of talking to him about these things, but what am I supposed to do when it just doesn't feel right to me?"

"You stop listening to what feels right for you and do what is right for your kid. You love him no matter what because you're lucky you got such a good one."

"I do love him, and believe me Burt, I think Kurt is a great kid too, but that doesn't mean I accept it."

"Then you're going to lose him."

"I—"

"What are you doing over here?" Kurt's voice rang out from behind Blaine and he twisted around quickly. When he looked back, eyes wide, he found both men looking at him surprised.

He stood there for a moment, looking into his father's matching hazel eyes, waiting to see if he'd say anything, but when it was clear that he wouldn't, he turned and took Kurt's hand.

"Want to watch a movie in your room?"

Kurt's face lit up, "Yes! I've been dying to rewatch Casablanca if you're up for it?"

"Definitely." He allowed Kurt to drag him up the stairs.

He didn't look back. He didn't have to when the words followed him anyway.

**Plus One**

His heart was racing, absolutely racing. He stared at himself in the mirror, the anxiety on his face reflected back.

"What are you so worried about, Squirt."

He turned around to face his brother, "I am twenty-five and about to be married, don't call me that."

He lifted his hands in surrender but smiled, "For someone about to be married, you sure are testy."

Blaine turned back towards the mirror and began to tie the white bowtie that Kurt had planned for him to wear, "I know, I'm sorry, I just want to go…I just want to be married to him already."

Cooper squeezed his shoulder, "Ten more minutes and you will be."

"Have you talked to dad?" He asked quietly.

"He's out there already, I saw him."

"You know what I mean."

Cooper frowned a little, "He said he didn't want to ruin anything by walking with you."

"Burt is walking Kurt down the aisle." He pointed out stubbornly, a fact he had brought up multiple times to anyone who would listen in the weeks leading up to the wedding…A fact that he had cried about into Kurt's chest as he held him tightly, many times.

"You know how dad is…But you've got me, and I think I'm a pretty good replacement."

"I just wish he loved me."

Cooper turned Blaine around so that he was facing him, "Blaine, he does love you, he just can't get over his own shit…you need to focus on what matters in this situation."

"Which is?"

"That Kurt loves you more than anything, and that you are marrying him today; Dad doesn't fit into that equation."

Blaine smiled a little, but there would still be a dad-sized hole standing next to him, and his chest felt heavy with the knowledge.

They got done with the finishing touches on their tuxes, and soon, the doors were opening and Blaine found himself standing next to Cooper, and staring down a long aisle that lead to Kurt. His Kurt; The love of his life that was smiling at him and wiping tears away as Blaine neared, standing in an all white tux just as Blaine was.

When Blaine reached the end of the aisle, and placed his hand in Kurt's outstretched one, he knew that Cooper was right. Nothing mattered at that moment, not the people of his past, or his dad's ignorance. None of it mattered because all he saw was Kurt and their love, and how right and beautiful what they had between them was.

For the first time in Blaine's life, he knew that he was exactly who he was supposed to be.


End file.
